I think it started when I was around 17. The first few times that I'd rip at it to the point of bleeding, it'd swell up and I'd look like I'd been beaten up by a gang on the streets. But now, it doesn't swell anymore. It just keeps bleeding but it doesn't swell.
And it's like, I don't even notice that my lips (and mostly, it's my bottom lip) are bleeding until I look down at my fingers and see that the fingernails are covered in blood. I can assure you that it's not the most appealing sight.
Then I would press a tissue to my lips and the tissue would be dotted with blood but the bleeding usually stops after a few dabs. And I think to myself, I should stop doing that, or else I'm really going to mess up my lips. (It's too bad that that thought only comes to me after I've ripped off the entire surface area of the atop my lips.)
But a couple hours later, or the next day, I'd be doing it again. And at that point, the space between the nail and thumb start to ache. Then it bleeds again, then I press a tissue to my lips and see the dots of blood on it, and think to myself, I should stop doing that.
It's a gross habit, really. I'm hoping to break it soon.