you're a pulsating pull in the midst of a thousand memories, one memory, too big to contain in the shell of a self i shed long ago. if it were easy, i'd have torn you away from the neurons you occupy and stomped them beneath my feet, feelings and fears and all. the rhythmic knock you tap on locked doors, your sigh fogging up the car's frozen window, dry lips and your hesitant but truthful yet undeserved sorry. your crooked canine tooth, your hand reaching for the length of hair no longer there for two weeks after you get a haircut, your slight lisp between the s and r when you say that's right. none of these things are special to you, but the culmination of those little things threaded you into a web i cannot escape from.