there were a lot of days that i thought would be my last. on the day that i fainted twice and didn't even remember falling, i didn't think i would see the sun go down. on the day that i locked myself in the bathroom and held a safety razor in my hand with a certain calmness that was luring me away from reality, i didn't think i would set my foot out the door again. on the day that my mother's frustrated scream burst my eardrums into a numbing quiet, i didn't think i would ever hear another sound. i'm sure you've thought that, too. you've been with me since the beginning of it, after all.

i wonder how we even made it this far.